Looks like I’m pissing in the yard tonight.
Apparently, fox urine is good for getting rid of gophers. Unfortunately, fox urine costs a ton, whereas my piss is pretty much free from the tap. So tonight, after the old lady across the alley is asleep, I’m spritzing the weeds.
Idiotic? Sure, idiotic like a fox! Yes, I’m ashamed of that joke, but you’d have said it too if you had thought it up.

