My Diseased Mind

Jump For a Buck

Jump For a Buck was my high school’s exercise in prostitution. It was also a way to raise money for our cheerleading program. The premise was simple: spot a cheerleader in her uniform, usually on a varsity football game day, and give her a dollar. She was then obliged to perform your favorite jump. I’m honestly still not sure that there is another cheerleading jump besides the classic “Jump Up In the Air and Spread Your Legs While Grabbing For Your Toes.” If so, I’m probably not ready for it.

My sophomore year, I had the privilege of sharing a Latin class with the head cheerleader. For 10 glorious weeks, our Fridays were punctuated by a series of titillating, or rather crotchillating, jumps. It typically began with a buzz along the left side of the classroom. It was there that one of us began the collection. Within 10 minutes, we could expect to have between 10 and 15 bucks available for cheerleader rental. Lunch? Hell no! We can have lunch after the season!

Now I’m not saying that this was the best idea ever, but I do know that if I had been planning on bringing a gun to school, I would NOT have done it on Jump For a Buck day. In essence, Jump For a Buck made the school a safer place for 10 days out of the school year. Makes you think, huh?