My Diseased Mind

I’m Told This Isn’t Gay

Today’s conversation came about as a result of this news story:

Joboo says:
Holy crap! One of the Wachowski brothers had a sex change! That’s awesome.

M says:
Dude!

M says:
I’m looking for pictures now.

Joboo says:
He got hooked up with a dominatrix in LA, so now not only did he have a sex change. He’s a freaking lesbian!

M says:
Right now he’s dressing as a woman and taking hormones. I’ve found two pictures; a before and after…. gotta say, he looks better as a woman.

Joboo says:
She wasn’t exactly a good looking man.

Joboo says:
Dang, you’re right.

M says:
Ok, you found it.

M says:
It’s the only picure I’ve found of Larry as a woman.

Joboo says:
That is just great.

Joboo says:
I have no idea why I’m giggling about this.

M says:
I like it when a plan comes together. Even if that plan involves flaying a penis, inverting it, and tucking it into the pelvic cavity.

Joboo says:
See, that’s funny.

Joboo says:
Incoming by the way.

Joboo says:
So the question comes to mind, what celebrities would make good looking members of the opposite sex?

M says:
Wow, that’s a tough one.

Joboo says:
And the bigger question is, is it gay of us to even contemplate this?

M says:
So far all I have is not Michael Rapaport.

M says:
Freddie Prinze Jr.

Joboo says:
Colin Ferrell

M says:
I was gonna say him! But his jawline is too pronounced.

Joboo says:
And for the record, I don’t think it’s gay because we’re saying if they were women, would they be good looking.

M says:
I’m a little scared that we both came up with Colin first.

M says:
Ryan Phillipe.

Joboo says:
David Niven would have made a good looking woman I think.

M says:
Young Tom Skerritt.

Joboo says:
Hmmm… I don’t know about that.

M says:
I’m thinking M*A*S*H Tom Skerritt.

Joboo says:
Yeah, he was still a little rugged though.

Joboo says:
Dude, Patrick Swayze.

M says:
Oh hell yeah. I’d fuck her.

M says:
Young Travolta.

M says:
Chris Masterson, who played Francis on Malcolm in the Middle.

Joboo says:
Yeah. The only problem with young Travolta woman would be her becoming old fat Travolta woman.

M says:
Yeah, young Travolta’s more of a trophy wife.

Joboo says:
Doogie Howser

Joboo says:
How about Val Kilmer?

M says:
Same with Travolta, but yeah.

M says:
Crispin Glover. Sure, she’s the chick who’ll key your car after a minor disagreement, but crazy fucks good.

Joboo says:
He just gets creepier with age.

M says:
Michael J. Fox.

M says:
Corey Haim, pre-methface.

Joboo says:
You could say the dad from Family Ties too. Michael Gross.

M says:
Jon Bon Jovi and Scott Baio.

M says:
Ok, this is now alarmingly easy.

M says:
David Cassidy.

Joboo says:
JBJ, yeah. Scott Baio, I’m not so sure about.

Joboo says:
Heck, I think a female Bon Jovi would be hotter than 95% of all women in Hollywood.

M says:
Yeah, I’d do her.

M says:
John Cusack.

Joboo says:
All of Duran Duran.

M says:
I’m saying Jack Black not because I think he’d be a hot woman, but because I knew a woman who looked like him.

Joboo says:
Cusack & Jake Gyllenhall are too easy. We have sisters to show what they might look like.

Joboo says:
I saw him Black in a movie where he was cleaned up & everything. I could see it.

M says:
Those two would be 10x hotter than their sisters.

M says:
Especially Cusack.

M says:
Fuck, have you seen the mouth on that guy?

Joboo says:
Cusack yes. No doubt.

M says:
Uh, wow, not sure where that came from.

Joboo says:
No problem. On Duran Duran I was thinking that Simon’s pouty lips would look great if he was a chick.

Joboo says:
Remember, if they were women.

Joboo says:
That was too much huh?

M says:
Nah, I’m trying to picture Redford without all the wrinkles.

M says:
Oh wait, Ricky Schroeder. There you go.

Joboo says:
Dude. Not quite as hot as Jon Bon, but close.

M says:
I’m not sure I can beat that.

Joboo says:
For purposes of my sanity & gag reflex, I’m declaring those 2 the winners.

M says:
Sounds good to me.

Apologies to Jason Bateman and Orlando Bloom. Your exclusions from the list are terrible omissions.