Fridays With Joboo

Thanks to the resounding success of my first post(thanks Russ), M has asked me to give you all a regular dose of my own private dementia. And so in the tradition of, yet not quite exactly unlike, Tuesdays with Morrie,I give you Fridays With Joboo. Except that instead of a wise old man, stricken with a terminal disease, sharing the life wisdom that he has gained with a dear former student & friend; you get a potential genius bordering on lunacy, stricken with mental diarrhea, sharing whatever seems to form in his attention span challenged mind with you, the viewing public. But it’s free, and when I release the book of my writings, it becomes a best seller, & the movie wins universal critical praise, you’ll be able to say ‘They made a movie about that??? That guy’s nuts.’. Imagine the fulfillment you’ll recieve. Now on with the show.

For at least one more day, the Missouri Tigers are the #1 football team in the land. As a lifelong resident of Missouri, I’m excited. I’m proud to be a Missourian & as the ’state’ university they represent my home. So I want them to do well. But, I would never ever refer to myself as a Mizzou fan. My allegiance lies firmly with the University of Michigan. I know, I know. Just like Shaft, I’m a complicated man.

The problem lies with those that do call themselves Mizzou fans. I can’t stand the vast majority of them when it comes to their so called ‘love’ for the Tigers. It is rooted in smugness. Smugness over the superiority of their athletic teams who have accomplished exactly nothing of any real note. A 1954 national title in baseball, a 1965 title in indoor track, & a smattering of individual champions. That’s it. If they were smug about their academics, they would deserve a punch in the mouth, but they would be justified. U of Missouri is a truly fine academic school & has what many consider to be the best journalism school in the country. That’s something to be proud of. But uppity because of their athletics? No. That’s like Frank Sinatra Jr. thinking he’s a major ladies man because Ole Blue Eyes used to be married to Ava Gardner. But this is not a problem unique to Mizzou. Not by a long shot. So let’s point fingers here & identify some certain types of college fans, both good & bad, while I give examples of each. Every school has some of each, but certain types are more prolific at certain schools.

True blue – Their pride stems from their school & no amount of athletic victory or humiliation will make them desert it. They enjoy the highs & gladly take the sarcasm that comes with the lows. After this football season, I can say for sure I fit in this catagory for Michigan. Unfortunately, that’s not the majority of us. Ex: Baylor, Stanford, every Ivy League school.

Dressed for success - They like to be with a proven winner. Won’t run at the first sign of trouble, but can be deterred over time. Can often morph into a true blue, but can go the opposite way too. Ex: Michigan, Penn State, UCLA, Arizona basketball, North Carolina basketball.

Local pride - By golly their school choice is all about where they’re from. And because it’s their home school, it’s better than yours. And if you don’t like it, they don’t care. They’re gonna kick your butt anyway. While there is a lot of good to be said about being loyal to your home school, these folks can be obnoxious. Ex: Oklahoma, Nebraska, Texas, every SEC school.

Religious fervor – A special type of fan attracted to a school because of their denomination. Cheering for their team is nothing less than a mission from God, Allah, David Hasselhoff, etc. Ex: Notre Dame, BYU, & the school formerly known as SMU.

Silent minority - A rare breed who doesn’t show any outward signs of fandom. But if their team is brought up in conversation around them, they will leave you speechless with the depth of their knowledge. Which can result in total boredom, stunned silence, or annoyance on a level unseen before. Ex: That one guy at the party that one time who wouldn’t shut up after we brought up Illinois. I hope they never find the body.

Underdog lovers – America has a passion for the underdog. Especially ones that are playing for big stakes. And college fans are no different. This is a very transient group because the underdog doesn’t stay an underdog for long. They either lose & display for all to see exactly why they’re the underdog, or win & become a real force. Here today, gone tomorrow, but a fun group. Recent ex: Boise St., Gonzaga basketball, Kansas, Missouri.

Bandwagonners – Scum of the earth. OK, not that bad. But they’re indicitive of some of the worst traits present in humanity. Lack of loyalty, selfishness, short-sightedness, no dedication to anything, never looking beyond the external. They latch on when the good times start to roll, & when things go bad they jump off faster than Rosie O’Donnell can down a Christmas ham. Ex: Miami football, Ohio St., USC, Syracuse.

There you go. Not a comprehesive list at all. And aimed only at the college fans out there. Nothing wrong with any of the types except bandwagon. It doesn’t matter if you’re loud, quiet, obnoxious, informed, or just like the colors of your school. But if you’re going to be a fan, be loyal. Stick with your team through thick & thin. The good & the bad. When you think they can do no wrong, & when you think they’re a bunch of morons. That’s life. A never ending roller coaster ride that can thrill, nauseate, exhilerate, & sometime even turn you upside down. But that’s what makes it fun. Holding onto your team while they do that same thing, can help you handle what life throws at you.

So good luck Mizzou. Win or lose, I hope you get some more true blue fans out of this. You deserve it.