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Dirty Haiku

ropey yellow streams
burning your face, stinging eyes
urine luck again

… And Now, Back To the Dick Jokes

This is a special message to my new friend in Oman, who found this site by way of typing the words ‘picture how to fuck women’ into Google yesterday. I’m afraid that you probably didn’t find the information you required, so I’m going to take a little time now to try and help you [...]

And now a word from our sponsors.

I do not have TV in my home.  Normally that statement gets a reaction along the line of ‘How do you live without TV?’ Very well thank you.  Let me explain.  We have televisions for watching our extensive DVD & video collection.  But no cable, no DirectTV, no Dish Network, & not even an antennae.  [...]

Dirty Haiku

Ok, this is the inaugural Dirty Haiku, finally replacing the long-defunct Insulting Haiku. This is something I’ve been considering for a while, but I haven’t been sure exactly how dirty I should be. But while I do recognize that this isn’t Filthy Haiku, I’m going to just be all the way dirty. [...]

Overheard at Dinner

The Boy: Hey Dad, what do you think the coolest thing in the world is?
Me: I don’t know, but it probably has something to do with sharks.
The Boy: Uh, why sharks?
Me: Because they’re pretty freakin’ cool.
Me: How about ninjas riding sharks? Ninjas with lightsabers?
The Boy: Whoa! That [...]

I Was An Elementary School Drunkard

It’s been amply demonstrated in the past that my dad was a father of the century candidate. Granted, he did finish near the bottom with Marvin Gaye Sr. and Bing Crosby, but the participation ribbon holds a place of honor in his trophy case. As you can no doubt surmise from the title, [...]