An actual conversation I had with The Boy this week:
The Boy: I don’t think I’m going to play football at school anymore.
Me: Why not?
TB: Because this big kid named Lane always tackles me, and it’s touch football.
M: What does the teacher say?
TB: Well, she makes him stop, but he does [...]
The boy is artistic. He dabbles in a variety of media, from pen on paper, pen on cardboard, clay, various paints, and most recently, Magnetix. It’s not unusual for him to call me into his room to see his newest masterpiece.
So when he told me that he wanted me to see [...]
M & I have had this conversation before. So what do you think? What’s the most unintentionally dirty phrase you’ve ever heard? As for me, I always like the classics.
“Come together, right now, over me.” – The Beatles
Y’all excuse me for a second. My soapbox beckons.
<steps up>
Band geeks are some of the best kids you will ever meet. And marching band is great.
<returns to the floor>
Yeah, I was in band. And honestly, it wasn’t cool back then. But I loved it. I was captain of the baseball team, one the top 4 [...]
I know; I get it
bestiality is wrong
wait, do kittens count?
healthy dose of spit
my cock won’t burst into flames
balls deep in your ass
If I were given two guesses as to where this happened, I would have gotten it on the second guess.
Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.
David J. Dalaia and [...]
The day after Christmas, The Boy had this conversation with my cousin. Note that this was just over twenty four hours after my mom, in a fit of what can only be described as shitflinging lunacy, presented him with a present of six throwing stars.
Cousin: What did you get for Christmas?
The Boy: [...]
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
But he moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried
Sang along
Who’d blame them
You’ve grown, so grown
Now I must say more than ever
(Come On Eileen)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
And we can sing just like our fathers
Come on Eileen
Oh, I swear what he means (what he means)
At this moment you mean everything
You [...]
Ow! Doubled over.
punched in the baby maker
new to fisting then?