My Diseased Mind

Weekend at Virgilio’s

If I were given two guesses as to where this happened, I would have gotten it on the second guess.

Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and James O’Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron’s body from the Manhattan apartment that O’Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.

“The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side,” Browne said.

Ok, so far, this seems reasonable enough.

The men left Cintron’s body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store’s clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O’Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.

Still seems pretty straightfo… wait, what? $355 bucks? Uh, why not go to a different freakin’ store?

A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron’s body, and “it’s immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead,” Browne said.

Here’s where you can tell it’s New York. The detective probably finished his lunch before he went out there.

I’ve got about 900,000 Weekend at Bernie’s jokes, as well as several about Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman being available for the TV movie. Because I can’t really settle on one, I’m going to open this one up to the floor. Who’s got the best joke?