My Diseased Mind

Take Two

A little over a week after my 21st birthday, The Boy was born. I was about as unprepared for this event as a person could be. I was there for the entire process, and while perhaps a little woozy, I dealt with it fairly well. The part for which I wasn’t ready was parenthood itself. I was a wreck, and I’m not sure I ever completely got over it.

But this time was different. I wasn’t just ready; I was getting impatient. I needed to see what she looked like, sounded like, and smelled like. Now that she’s here, I couldn’t be happier. I’m completely smitten with this little girl. I’m not one to spoil, well, anyone, but I can’t help it with this one. I’ll do my best to make sure I don’t overdo it, but I make no promises.

Sleep, which was so difficult to achieve literally for years, is easy now. Those who know me realize just how amazing that is. Gone are the days of avoiding caffeine after noon. I can sleep at night.

I know that I’ve learned a lot in the past 13 years, and that I’ll do a better job now than I did at age 21. In a way I feel badly about that, but it can’t be helped. Also, in 10-12 years, I’m going to be the scariest entity in the lives of many junior high boys.

So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

Posted in Family, The Girl | 1 Comment »

Yikes

I’m not particularly squeamish about most things. I’ve cleaned up puke, changed diapers, and seen various animals slaughtered, cleaned, and converted into food. However, there’s one phrase I really could have gone my whole life without learning.

Mucus Plug

This experience has changed me. I know that I will never be the same. It is my own personal Omaha Beach, as sad as that is. I feel like I’m ready for anything now.

But I’m mainly just ready to not hear that phrase again.

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Twelve Years in the Making

I’m sleeping in on Monday.

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Ouch.

GLASTONBURY, England, Nov. 3 (UPI) — A British 19-year-old has officially changed his name to “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.”

The Glastonbury, England, teenager — originally named George Garratt — said his new name, which is thought to be the world’s longest, has so outraged his grandmother that she is no longer speaking to him, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The teen said he used an online service to officially change his name for a $20 fee.

“I wanted to be unique,” Captain Fantastic said of his name choice. “I decided upon a theme of superheroes.”

19 years old, and he’s already sick of having sex. Now that’s just sad.

Posted in FFS, News | 1 Comment »