Death in the Digital Age

A friend of mine from school died this morning. I learned that something was amiss this morning on Facebook, when the status messages of mutual friends were consistently somber. A quick exchange of messages revealed the details–she was in an accident and suffered a number of serious injuries, she was in a coma, had suffered brain death, and that the decision had been made to pull the plug. Being familiar with the location of the accident, I quickly located the street on which she crashed in Google Maps, and “drove” down the road in street view. Alternating between personal and detached, it was almost too fast and convenient.

Rachel was a part of my closest circle of friends, spanning junior high and about half of high school. We were a living John Hughes movie, or at least thought we were. Through the miracle of the internet, I’m in some form of contact with nearly all of them, although very little of it is direct. I had just reconnected with Rachel through Facebook about 3-4 months ago after 16 years. After dealing with her fair share of drama and unpleasantness, she seemed really grounded and happy. A psychology degree was imminent. Things seemed to be going right. A few months later, she’s the first one of us to go. It’s scary, depressing, and an overall stomach punch.

At the end of the day, I find myself wondering if all of the technological ‘help’ was a good or bad thing. Everything happened so quickly, and it was extremely impersonal. Overall I think that it was good though, if for no other reason than the fact that the internet allowed me to connect with her during the last few months of her life, to satisfy my nagging curiosity, and to remember her as happy.