This is why we needed to bail out the auto companies. In our time of national crisis, we need strong reminders of American innovation. This guy gets it.
A man accused of using the Cash for Clunkers program to ditch his BMW after a fatal hit-and-run crash is due in a Phoenix court on Thursday.
If this isn’t taking a shitpile of lemons and turning them into $4500 worth of lemonade, I don’t know what is. Honestly, I probably would have spent a day trying to bury the car, but this guy knows real opportunity when he sees it.
Phoenix police say Kissida was driving his light blue BWM 325i shortly after midnight on Aug. 8 when he hit bicyclist Charles Waldrop. The 52-year-old was riding home from work and his bike had lights and reflectors.
Two things amaze me about this part. First, this guy was driving a BMW. How does that happen? Second, this BMW qualified as a clunker? Did it have a hole in the gas tank? Did it have an actual anchor?
Later the same day, Kissida allegedly told a dealer that his car was damaged when he hit a javelina, a pig-like desert mammal. He was arrested after a tip to police.
“Oh, sorry… did I say javelina? I meant Huffy. You guys wanna smoke a bowl?”
All right, one last thing… Who the hell centered that mugshot? Did the ears throw them off?
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