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Crash For Clunkers

This is why we needed to bail out the auto companies. In our time of national crisis, we need strong reminders of American innovation. This guy gets it.

A man accused of using the Cash for Clunkers program to ditch his BMW after a fatal hit-and-run crash is due in a Phoenix court on [...]

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Ouch.

GLASTONBURY, England, Nov. 3 (UPI) — A British 19-year-old has officially changed his name to “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.”

The Glastonbury, England, teenager — originally named George Garratt — said his new name, which is thought to be the world’s longest, has so outraged his grandmother that [...]

Uh, 911? My Girlfriend’s Sprouted Roots

Yikes.

Deputies say a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years, and they’re investigating whether she was mistreated.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple says a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

It took him two years to realize that something was wrong with her?

The [...]

Weekend at Virgilio’s

If I were given two guesses as to where this happened, I would have gotten it on the second guess.

Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and [...]

Judge Orders Monkey Returned to Bipolar Owner in Fort Worth

First off, this is a great headline.

Second off, I don’t know which is the insult, or which is the injury. On the one hand, the monkey is being sent back to the roller coaster ride of living with, and relying on, a bipolar person. Every day will be punctuated by the highest of [...]

Texas Means ‘Friendship’

Can’t say this surprises me. We are nothing here if not overly polite.

FORTH WORTH, TX — A Family Dollar clerk in Forth Worth, Texas was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after police said he used a crowbar to club a deaf customer. Cody Goodnight, 30, has been deaf since before the [...]

It’s Like Prom Night All Over Again

I think it’s safe to call this a bad fucking day:

CARACAS (Reuters) – A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only [...]

Mom?

Man, this brings back memories:

I’m Told This Isn’t Gay

Today’s conversation came about as a result of this news story:

Joboo says:
Holy crap! One of the Wachowski brothers had a sex change! That’s awesome.

M says:
Dude!

M says:
I’m looking for pictures now.

Joboo says:
He got hooked up with a dominatrix in LA, so now not only did he have a sex change. He’s a freaking [...]

Gunga Galunga

In a day chock full of strange goings-on, I love this one the most.

Bill Murray could face a drunken driving charge after cruising through downtown Stockholm in a golf cart and refusing to take a breath test, citing U.S. law.

Do I really need to go on here? It’s freakin’ Bill Murray! [...]