When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro — HST
This is a great story, but seriously, it was an accident?
THE call letters KUNT have landed at a yet-unbuilt low-power digital television station in Wailuku, Maui.
The same station owner also received KWTF for a station in Arizona.
Wow, that’s amazing. The same company requested two humorous and borderline obscene sets of call letters. It couldn’t have been on purpose or anything.
It’s been entirely too long since I’ve blogged. In fact, it’s getting to the point where I’m not 100% sure I can still read and write. Bhan loont rarjar. See? To that end, I’m going to write a quick blog entry in advance of my review of Transformers. To that end, I present you with a hastily-written, half-assed blog entry. Selah.
Stuff like this amazes me. Little Kyle has been busy throughout his formative years, accounting for a Jordanesque 40% of crime in Clitheroe, Lancashire. Before I talk about that, how cool is the name Clitheroe? I think I’d pay 3 grand to have a couple name their daughter that. Now back to Kyle:
Little known fact about me: I can read people. For example, I think it’s safe to say that this guy is up to no good. It’s like a 6th sense. Call it a gift.
Without getting into the horrific act he committed to get to this point, let’s talk about the aftermath.
Inside the Arby’s, Allgier held the gun in the air and ordered customers and employees to the floor, Salt Lake City police Detective Mark Knighton wrote in court documents.
I don’t know about everyone else, but if I looked like him, had just escaped from prison, and had every law enforcement agent in the state after me, I’d have 2 thoughts going through my head:
1. It’s Utah! I’m totally blending in here.
2. I could sure go for a roast beef and cheddar.
I know hindsight is 20/20 and all, but damn, maybe it’s a good idea to hold off on the prison tats until you’re absolutely sure that you’re not going to make a break for it.
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In light of this, it looks like it’s time for a note to self:
Next time you’re in the UK, don’t have sex.
And how proud must those girls be to have their picture in this article?
Ok, let’s see what’s in the News.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”
Ok, looks like nothing much going o….. wait. What in holy hell?
In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard”.
He added: “That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”
Let’s ignore the fact that he was in his underwear. With his ex-girlfriend. And some friends. I’m having trouble shaking the feeling that we’re witnessing a deleted scene from Kill Bill here.
The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
Now I’m not one to attack someone over an honest mistake in the heat of the moment, but this might be just a tad over the top. Once you’ve ripped the guy’s ball off, let’s go ahead and refrain from popping it in your mouth. It’s not like you’re destroying the evidence; the bleeding, screaming guy on the floor is pretty much a dead giveaway.
Also, I think we probably all know what word he used to set her off. I’m not going to write it here, because, well, I don’t want my balls ripped off, but I think we can all take something away from this episode.
She said: “It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person.”
I’m sure she’s sorry and all, but for at least a tiny moment, she wished him great harm. I can pinpoint that moment to somewhere around the time she had his ball in a death grip, and was forcefully attempting to detach it from his person. There’s also at least one way that she’s a violent person: her tendency toward ball-ripping.
I guess it just goes to show you, someone’s always got it worse than you. Unless you’re that guy.
Can it get much better than this? A state trooper throws away some pain pills and looks the other way in exchange for a blow job from a porn star. Ok, so far it seems reasonable enough. But wait, the trooper gets in trouble! WTF? He’s out there every day, risking life and limb to make our lives safer, and we’re going to begrudge him a little roadside hummer? Oh wait, he got in trouble for using his department-issued laptop to view her website, not the blow job. Nevermind then; he should rot in hell.
By the way, here is her blog. She sounds like a delightful girl; one you would take home to mom, only if mom had a huge life insurance policy.
UPDATE: Let’s have a moment of silence for Barbie’s blog.
